February 25, 2024

Feb 25

" All of Me" Sermon by Rev. Trip Porch

February 25, 2024 Based on Mark 8:31-38

“All of me
Why not take all of me
Can't you see I'm no good without you
Take my lips
I want to lose them
Take my arms
I'll never use them
Your goodbye left me with eyes that cried
How can I go on without you
You took the part that once was my heart
So why not take all of me”

Okay, so today our love song is coming from a slightly different angle, a love song that comes at the end of a relationship. If it sounds familiar it’s because it is a standard, a classic of the American jazz songbook. With well-known and beloved versions by Billie Holliday, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Oscar Peterson, and Frank Sinatra.

When I first encountered it, it was through hard hitting distortion pedaled electric guitars through a rapid-fire cover by the Punk band NOFX. I liked it so much I looked it up, though at the time I only found another out of place version, the country version by Willie Nelson. Though the lyrics clearly express the sorrow of losing love, so much so that we can’t envision a future for yourself without that love, most of the versions are pretty swingy, and bright. With one strong exception.

The 1931 radio broadcast debut of the song that brought the song to fame. It was first sung by the Vaudeville Singer Belle Baker. She takes to the mic and begins to sing “All of me, Why not take all of me?” and the story goes… in the middle of the song she breaks down into tears because just days before this broadcast she lost her husband. Which brings new meaning to those lyrics…

“Your goodbye left me with eyes that cried
How can I go on without you
You took the part that once was my heart
So why not take all of me?”

In premarital counseling one of the things I almost always end up discussing with couples are the different words for Love in the bible. It's interesting because each word really carries with it its own flavor to the concept of love. In the Greek bible there are three words used for love. Philia which describes familial love or friendship, Eros which describes physical love and intimacy, and finally agape, which is the word for love reserved to talk about Christ-like love. Which is a sacrificial love, a love that lowers itself in humility, and puts others before itself, which in the case of marriage means a love that puts your spouse before yourself. And we talk about the balance you need in sacrificial love. How you should love your spouse and at times put their needs before your own, but not all the time, you have to maintain your independence, and selfhood in the relationship as well.

We see agape love all the time in the bible, it's really the main love that Christ came to embody. Agape love is what brings Christ to the streets to touch the leper and dine with tax collectors and sex workers even though it brought him judgement from his community. It's a love that means you sacrifice your own interest. And it's the key to understanding Christ’s Worldview. That to love one another in this world means sacrifice. Means letting go of ego, it means you choose less so that others can have more. And it's ultimately the message that gets lifted up from the cross, that Christ-like Agape love looks like sacrificing for others even to the point of losing your own life. It's an extreme example of agape love, really the ultimate example of what this sort of love looks like, but I have to ask… Is this the fate Jesus envisioned for his followers? To love and sacrifice, to give one’s life for others to the point of martyrdom?

I mean in our scripture today he does say:
“All who want to come after me must say no to themselves, take up their own cross, and follow me.
All who want to save their lives will lose them. But all who lose their lives because of me and because of the good news will save them.”

It’s a noble calling. A world rooted in Christ like agape love means that even though you aren’t focused on yourself you are still cared for because others are sacrificing for you. But the trouble with this vision is that this is not yet reality of this world. And for far too many times people are asked to sacrifice to the point of abuse, to the point of their own suffering and destruction, and I don’t think this is what Jesus wills for this world either.

It makes me think of the beloved children’s book "The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein. As I’m sure you know the story revolves around the relationship between a boy and a selfless apple tree who, of course troublingly, is gendered as a woman.

The tree gives everything it has to the boy, to help the boy achieve his various needs and desires as he grows older. Starting with easy things like its apples, that will grow back next year anyway. But then she gives her branches… which leaves the tree as just a trunk without leaves to breathe or the ability to make apples. The boy takes and takes from the tree, eventually leaving the tree as just a stump. And even then, chopped down with nothing left, she gives it to the boy, when he uses the stump as a place to sit.
The story is often interpreted as a metaphor for selfless love but also as a cautionary tale to the consequences of unchecked human greed, raising questions about the balance between giving and taking in relationships.

As much as I’ve loved this book, it’s one we’ve chosen not to read to our kids. Because as much as it shows sacrificial love, it shows it in the extreme. If we were all to live as this tree, willing to sacrifice all of ourselves, the greedy boys of this world would take and take until we would all wind up as stumps. And I don’t think this is how we are intended to be in this world, I don’t think this is God’s vision for how the world is intended to be. Fortunately, I’m not alone.
In recent years many people have expressed frustration at this story, especially giving all of the sacrifice to a female character. One author, even took it into his own hands to re-write the story as:
“The tree who set healthy boundaries: An alternate ending to Shel Silverstein’s 'The giving tree' by Topher Payne [https://lithub.com/somebody-finally-fixed-the-ending-of-the-giving-tree/]
I’m going to read it to you:

"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy.
"I want a house to keep me warm,"
he said.
"I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house.
Can you give me a house?"
And the tree said-
"Okay, hold up. This is already getting out of hand.”

"Look, I was fine with giving you the apples to help you get on your feet.
They'll grow back next season anyway.
But no, I'm not giving you a house.
You know, I've seen boys like you pull this nonsense
with other trees in the forest.
First it's the apples, then branches, then the trunk, and before you know it that mighty beautiful tree is just a sad little stump.
Well, look here, Boy, I love you like family, But I am not going down like that.”

"And while we're on the subject," the tree said, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt.
"I recognize friendships evolve over time, And we may not see each other as often because you don't have time for your tree friends.
But we used to be real tight.
Now it feels like I only see you When you need something.
How do you think that makes me feel?"
The Boy took a long breath.
He felt a sour rumble in his stomach.
Because he realized
he hadn't considered his friend's feelings.
"I bet it makes you feel bad," said the Boy.

"Yes, Boy, bad. I can't even remember the last time you asked me how I'm doing."
"How are you, tree?" asked the Boy.
He sincerely wanted to know.
So the tree told the boy all the gossip from the forest, and introduced him to
the family of red squirrels that had moved into her trunk.
While she was glad for the company the squirrels provided, she was concerned about
the long-term health effects Of hosting a burrow.

So the Boy called the local arborist, who explained
that squirrels don't eat wood, they only
Build nests in pre-existing holes, so the tree was in no danger.
The tree was so relieved.
And so was the Boy.
He loved his friend
and was concerned about
her long-term health
because she had taught him the importance of empathy.

And so it continued, the tree and the Boy looking out for each other like that-Both of them content in the knowledge that someone had their back.
The boy attended culinary school.
The tree took courses online and got her certification in small business management.
They did their homework together nearly every day.
The Boy became a pastry chef.
Together, they opened a bakery selling the best apple pies anyone had ever tasted.
It turned a profit in the first eighteen months, which is most uncommon.

Eventually...
the Boy had a son of his own.
And much later, the son of the Boy
had his own family too.
Because of their friendship,
the boy was successful and fulfilled, and the tree grew wider and stronger, standing tall and beautiful in the forest
for
many
many
many
years.
Plus a few years even more than that.
*
And as each generation played in her strong old branches,
the tree often thought back to the fateful day when the boy had asked her for a house. In truth, she would have gladly given him her branches to build one.
She would have given him her trunk to build a boat.
She loved him that much.
*
But then she would have had nothing left. Not for herself, nor anyone else. And there never would have been a home for the red squirrels.
There'd have been no hide and seek with the Boy's grandchildren.
No bakery with the best apple pies anyone ever tasted!
Setting healthy boundaries is a very important part of giving.
It assures you'll always have something left to give.
And so the tree was happy.
Everyone was.
The End.
*
I think this is a better version of not only the story the giving tree, but also the story of what Christ-like, sacrificial, agape love should look like for us.

You cannot have God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven if we are all left as stumps, but you also cannot have God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven if we all never give of ourselves out of love and sacrifice.

So we must find some balance. We must give of ourselves out of love, we must sacrifice but not to a point that leads to our own destruction.

Some of me, why not take some of me?

Friends, may it be so…
Amen.

WE GATHER IN AWE AND PRAISE

PRELUDE "All of Me" Gerald Marks and Seymour Simon

arr. Brandon Douglas

WELCOME Rev. Trip Porch

One: This is the day that the Lord has made

All: Let us rejoice and be glad in it

*CALL TO WORSHIP

One: We come to worship this morning from different places.